Super women.
I was talking the other night with a few of my Italian friends who happen to be a handful of years younger than me. We were discussing the perception of the best years of a man and woman’s life. The general consensus from the male perspective was that the late teens to early twenties were what they considered their best years. (Side note: That may not be true for the average man and may vary by country, but it’s the information I was given and that’s what I’m using as the basis for this discussion. So, if you’re a man reading this just relax. This post is about women; I clearly know little about men. Please sit quietly, looking ever-so handsome, and soak up some insight into the female psyche.)
I happen to be friends with a group of ladies here who are all turning 30 this year. I’m 36, so when one of them said they feel old and that they’re leaving their best years behind, I had to say something! You know me, I’m the queen of unsolicited advice. I just can’t help myself.
I told her the story of when I had this exact same conversation with my grandmother, Bunny, about ten years ago. Bunny, at that point, was somewhere in her 70’s. She smiled in reflection as she told me that her 30’s were great, her 40’s were better and she loved her 50’s. She said that until you start getting physically unable to do the things you want to do, for a woman life just keeps getting better with age. At the time, I was in my mid-20’s and listened intently keeping my doubt to myself. But, I never forgot the conversation and I have to say, so far…she’s right.
My 30’s have been the best years of my life. I become more self-aware every minute of everyday. I’m not kidding; I’ve even had a handful of realizations within the last 24-hours. In my 30’s I’ve learned to love myself, inside and out. This is the vessel I was given to travel the earth in, so I might as well embrace it, learn the instrument panel and enjoy the ride. Growing up I would always tell my Daddy, “I wish we lived in the city.” In true cowboy fashion he would reply, “Wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.” I hated when he’d tell me that, but as an adult I find it to be one of the truest truths. Don’t misinterpret…please, dream away, envision your best life! Just don’t waste your time wanting what someone else has, comparing yourself to others or try to be someone you’re not in order to attract (or keep) a man (or woman). Envy, jealousy and self-deprecation are poison to the mind, body and spirit – and extremely unattractive!
If we focus on our authentic selves, appreciate what we have and envision the positive things we want in our lives, more of what we want mysteriously comes our way, including self-confidence, which my girl Leslie says is “a girl’s best accessory”. (She’s right, so remember that.) And, never forget you don’t know what it’s like walking in someone else’s shoes. The life you’re coveting might very well be a giant, gold-encrusted turd. It looks great on the surface, but inside it’s a steaming pile of shit.
So, ladies…don’t waste your life wanting to be someone you’re not. Don’t wait until you’re 50 to throw up your hands and say, “F*ck it,” and finally relax and enjoy the rest of your life. Don’t miss out on experiences in the prime of your life because you are insecure of how you look, feel or because you just don’t believe you can do it. You can do it. You can do anything. At least you can try! Yes, it is true that you might fail. But, life is like the lottery – you can’t win if you don’t play. Win, lose or draw, love yourselves anyway. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t occasionally still blurt out that age-old question, “What’s wrong with me?” when someone rejects me or doesn’t give me what I think I deserve. But, again, that’s life. It’s not always kind, but I embrace the belief that it all happens for a reason and I don’t live with the regret of having never tried. Every bump and bruise to the heart makes us a finer version of ourselves if we so choose. It truly is our rodeo….and everybody else is just riding in it.
At the end of the day, what’s the key ingredient to aging gracefully and enjoying the journey? I think it comes down to the daily conversations we have with ourselves. When you look in the mirror, please smile and speak sweetly to the woman looking back at you. Praise her accomplishments and pat her on the back for a job well done. When she’s had a bad day, wrap your arms around her and let her cry. Know that she listens to everything you say, both good and bad. When you tell her she’s fat, or ugly or stupid, or not worthy, she remembers and acts accordingly.
Our thoughts become our reality so next time you see your reflection, give yourself a little whistle and compliment how sweet your ass looks in those jeans. Maybe even throw on a sexy shade of red lipstick, blow yourself a kiss and then get out there and strut your stuff.
You are definitely going to turn heads…I know I do. Of course, I still have trouble getting used to it and can’t help but look down to make sure my pants are zipped.
Click here to listen to your stuff struttin’ soundtrack! It’s a CLASSIC!
“Please sit quietly, looking ever-so handsome, and soak up some insight into the female psyche.”
That’s all I ever do when I’m around you ladies!
…sitting quietly. Clapping on the inside. Nice read Jo.